{"id":3662,"date":"2014-10-03T08:25:30","date_gmt":"2014-10-03T15:25:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/?p=3662"},"modified":"2016-02-19T14:41:30","modified_gmt":"2016-02-19T06:41:30","slug":"click-here-to-upgrade-your-starship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/2014\/10\/click-here-to-upgrade-your-starship\/","title":{"rendered":"Click Here to Upgrade Your Starship"},"content":{"rendered":"

Stardate 53849.2 \u2013 the Delta Quadrant<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager stands up from her chair, at the ready. Moments ago, the ship had lost warp power and the crew suddenly found themselves adrift. But before the Captain could request a status, a bright prick of purple light erupted on the main monitor, fading away into the strange, iridescent anomaly everyone now sees before them. Everyone has ceased their activity to watch the swirling cloud of unidentified origin or makeup, growing ever larger on screen.<\/p>\n

\u201cTuvok, report!\u201d Janeway commands with confident urgency.<\/p>\n

The Vulcan looks down at his console. \u201cCaptain, it appears that we have entered a temporal distortion field caused by the object ahead, and\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

A new panel slides into view on his screen. In simple, futuristic type, a message appears:<\/p>\n

Error 606: Offline Mode<\/p>\n

It appears that you have temporarily lost connection. You may be outside of our Preferred Starship Network Coverage Area.<\/p>\n

We are rapidly expanding in the Alpha and Gamma Quadrants, and hope to be in the Delta Quadrant by Q4 of next year. Until then, you will have limited access to the features equipped on your starship.<\/p>\n

Click here to learn more about the offline services available on U.S.S. Starship OS 9!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cCommander?\u201d Janeway snaps, hands now on her hips.<\/p>\n

Tuvok taps a small, gray button to dismiss the message. \u201cMy apologies, Captain. Voyager\u2019s systems appear to be in\u2026 offline mode.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat? That can\u2019t be right. This starship came equipped with the latest interstellar communication devices, which have served us well this far.\u201d The Captain looks back at the enormous screen \u2013 the spiraling clouds converge to form a glowing, periwinkle vortex. \u201cNever mind.”<\/p>\n

\u201cEngineering, can you restore power to the primary warp coils?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, Captain – not in offline mode,\u201d Chief Engineer B’Elanna replies hurriedly. \u201cBut we do have access to our secondary thrusters,\u201d she adds optimistically.<\/p>\n

Janeway pauses for a brief moment. A small, impossibly black hole is emerging from the center of the vortex like an expanding pupil. She turns to Tom.<\/p>\n

\u201cLieutenant Paris, can you alter our current position, or at least put some distance between us and whatever that is?\u201d she says, pointing.<\/p>\n

Tom taps furiously at his screen, \u201cOn it, Captain.\u201d Just before he initiates the final command to engage the thrusters, a video layer appears. There is a brief, but interminable moment of silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have thrusters shortly. I just need 15 seconds until I can skip this ad and\u2013”<\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t have 15 seconds, Tom.\u201d she says over him. The Captain walks urgently towards the other side of the bridge and steps down onto the lower platform to take control of a vacant console. The iris is almost fully dilated, an ever-growing abyss of nothingness.<\/p>\n

Janeway activates the communicator pinned to her chest, \u201cSeven, what is your analysis?\u201d<\/p>\n

Over the intercom, Seven of Nine replies matter-of-factually, \u201cCaptain, we have lost control over our propulsion and long-range communications. All other systems are stable. I still have access to our primary\u2013”<\/p>\n

There is an awkward pause. There are no more spinning purple clouds on the screen, or distant stars beyond. Only blackness.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain, what is your User Name and Password?\u201d<\/p>\n

Everyone looks at one another, and then at the Captain. Irritation flashes across her face. Janeway inhales.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain Kathryn Janeway of the U.S.S. Starship Voyager, Starfleet Authoriza\u2013\u201c<\/p>\n

Seven interrupts, \u201cNo, not for Starfleet. I need your log in credentials for Starship OS 9 \u2013 Voyager’s native operating system.”<\/p>\n

Just as Janeway opens her mouth to respond, a sudden, invisible shock-wave rips through Voyager \u2013 violently shaking the starship with such force that a few crewmen are knocked unconscious. While the hull quivers and moans from the force of impact, senior officers reach for a grip or attempt to stand. Rumbling continues to deafen everyone on-board, interrupted only by the metallic shrieking of large, structural objects. A few of the petty officers assume the fetal position beneath their stations. First Officer Chakotay yells something. Tuvok somehow steadies himself, only to loose his balance again. For a few moments more, all is chaos.<\/p>\n

And then nothing.<\/p>\n

Everything is absolutely silent, still and serene. The main monitor is black, but presumably still active. Objects of various size and mass are haphazardly thrown about the deck, lying motionless, as though placed on purpose long ago. Captain Janeway is up on one knee.<\/p>\n

Chakotay fixates on the main monitor. \u201cCaptain, look!\u201d<\/p>\n

A small pillar of tightly twirling, iridescent clouds appears in a moment on the deck directly below. Everybody recognizes the violet glow immediately. Nobody breaths. Then, just as quickly, the vaporous shapes collapse into a universally identifiable form: a human male. He is smartly dressed in a simple,\u00a0charcoal suit and tie.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes, even my tie is purple!\u201d the man begins with bright smile and outstretched arms. \u201cI hope it wasn\u2019t overkill, Captain Janeway.\u201d<\/p>\n

The crewmen quickly head back to their various stations in a coordinated burst of nervous activity. The Captain looks stunned, yet she manages to stand tall, adjust her uniform, and speak.<\/p>\n

\u201cExplain yourself!\u201d She nearly shouts. \u201cWho are you, and what is the meaning of this?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFirst, let me assure all of you that no one is an any danger.\u201d The man looks directly at Tuvok, and then Chakotay, who are training their phasers at him. \u201cAt least not insofar as it has anything to do with me,\u201d he adds with a wink.<\/p>\n

Janeway stands with one hand on her hip, jaw set. “Explain. Now.\u201d She glances at her two senior officers.<\/p>\n

Still smiling, the man continues, \u201cOf course, Captain.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am not so much a person, as I am the representation of the Starship Interstellar Travel and Communications Network, and its intergalactic subsidiaries, in holographic form. Think of me as your visual interface between you, Starship OS 9, and the parties that offer this amazing \u2013 free \u2013 software.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Captain blinks. She does not look pleased.<\/p>\n

He turns his palms toward the crew and shrugs. \u201cBut you can call me Steve, if it makes things easier.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd Steve, are you responsible for the loss of our warp drive capabilities?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d he answers calmly. \u201cI\u2019ve also taken control of your startship\u2019s primary and secondary functions \u2013 for your own safety, of course. More importantly, I\u2019m not materially real or even \u2018here\u2019 aboard this ship, so you couldn\u2019t harm me even if you tried.\u201d<\/p>\n

Janeway considers the intruder\u2019s words. \u201cTuvok?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cConfirmed, Captain,\u201d the Commander replies as he glances down at his monitor, then back at Steve.<\/p>\n

Without breaking eye contact, the Captain raises her hand, signaling her crew to stand down. Tuvok and Chakotay exchange doubtful glances before lowering their weapons. The other officers are frozen in a state of hyper-alertness while Janeway walks deliberately over to her Captain\u2019s Chair. Turning to face Steve, she lowers herself into the sparsely upholstered seat and crosses her legs. With hands folded, Janeway resumes.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, Steve, you have our undivided attention. Let\u2019s get on with it so we can continue our journey back to Alpha Quadrant.\u201d She pauses for effect, and then asks harshly, “What do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCertainly, Captain. Perhaps the grand entrance was a bit much. The marketing guys always want to deliver a compelling, memorable experience. Anyway,\u201d he stands up a little straighter. \u201c\u2013this starship, its operating systems, and transmission of all subspace communications throughout the Universe, are now the sole property and responsibility of the Starship Interstellar Travel and Communications Network.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before Steve could continue, Chakotay interrupts. \u201cThat\u2019s impossible! We demand to speak with Starfleet!\u201d<\/p>\n

Steve smiles anew. \u201cStarfleet was consolidated, along with numerous other well established Network Providers, into a single, new entity through an intergalactic inversion with the parent company, Interstellar Systems.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWait. What?\u201d The First Officer is genuinely confused.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey bought Starfleet, Chakotay.” The Captain is holding her head in her hand, shoulders dropping slightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cFascinating,\u201d Tuvok states.<\/p>\n

B\u2019Elanna interjects, \u201cThat\u2019s right, I recently heard some rumors about a merger with all the big players\u2013\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201cInversion…\u201d Steve corrects.<\/p>\n

\u201c-Starfleet, the Vulcans, Romulans, Klingons, Ferengi, Betazoids, Bajorans \u2013 even
\nthe Borg. Pretty much everyone, I think.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIndeed\u201d Steve says with a sense of endearment a father would bestow upon his first child.<\/p>\n

Then, sitting back in her chair, Janeway places both her hands on the armrests at her side. \u201cI\u2019ve heard enough. You still haven\u2019t told us what it is you want with Voyager or its crew.\u201d<\/p>\n

Standing in his original position, the hologram nods in agreement. \u201cRight.\u201d Steve looks over to the Vulcan.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, you lost warp drive and access to your devices because the area you\u2019re currently traveling in \u2013 the Delta Quadrant \u2013 is outside the coverage area for Basic Access. Due to the substantial investment required to bring Extended Access to the most remote expanses of the Universe, access will be provided only to Premium Travelers who have upgraded from U.S.S. Starship OS 9 to Starship X.”<\/p>\n

He looks back to Captain Janeway. \u201cSince your starship happened to be in the Delta Quadrant before this policy was enacted, we\u2019re offering you the opportunity to upgrade to Starship OS X \u2013 for free! Only now, you\u2019ll have a host of new features and tools to help you along your journey.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man\u2019s smile softens into a disarming grin. His pleasant disposition is not enough to soften the Captain or put the crew at ease. Her eyes narrow as she leans forward, \u201cAnd what do you get in exchange for our consent to this\u2026 upgrade?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the easy part!\u201d Steve exclaims. \u201cThe information you create, share or consume on Starship OS X will be collected by the Starship Interstellar Travel and Communications Network. This information will be shared with our partners so that we can continue to offer innovative new features that will make your voyage home a better experience!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIn other words, you\u2019ll know everything that we do?\u201d Chakotay is finally catching on. \u201cAnd you might share that information with your partners?\u201d<\/p>\n

Steve answers while adjusting his tie, \u201cYes. Technically.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c…Partners which include the Klingons, Romulans and the Borg?\u201d His voice now intensifies, \u201cOur enemies?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa there,\u201d the man retorts. For the first time, the holographic image walks across the deck towards the crew. \u201cFirst of all, your privacy is very important us. We would never share your personal information with anyone outside The Network; and even then,\u201d Steve presses his hands together to gesture, \u201cnone of your sensitive information is personally identifiable. Thus, if any malicious third party somehow managed to \u2018steal\u2019 your data, it wouldn\u2019t do them any good. Besides, we use the most sophisticated encryption available in the entire Universe.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI still don\u2019t trust you!\u201d Chakotay shoots back, pointing his finger squarely at Steve. \u201cHow can we be certain of anything you\u2019re telling us?”<\/p>\n

Steve shifts to one leg and folds his arms, \u201cCommander, I think you\u2019re\u00a0missing the larger picture here.\u201d Looking down, thoughtfully, he cocks his head to one side. \u201cConsider the value you\u2019re getting: In return for doing the very things you\u2019d be doing anyway, your starship will finally be able to communicate with Earth. You\u2019ll also be able to chart a more efficient course, navigate through uncharted territories with ease, and deploy your weapons more effectively.\u201d Beaming, Steve adds, \u201cPlus, you\u2019ll have access to over 30,000 new recipes for your Replicator, from cultures all throughout the Alpha and Gamma Quadrants!”<\/p>\n

Chakotay furrows his brow. \u201cAnd you can\u2019t get us home?\u201d<\/p>\n

The expression on Steve\u2019s face turns blank. \u201cNo.\u201d He purses his lips. \u201cUnfortunately, The Network only supplies the equipment and the system which enables communication between approved devices. What you do with them is entirely your perogative and responsibility.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you can get to us!?\u201d The former Maquis leader shouts while pounding his console with one fist.<\/p>\n

Looking back down at the deck with his hands clasped behind his back, the hologram says, slowly, \u201cIt\u2019s\u2026 complicated. Particularly the special effects part.\u201d Chakotay is about to say something when Steve raises his finger, \u201cBut remember, I\u2019m not really \u2018here\u2019. I never \u2018got\u2019 to you,\u201d\u00a0 he gestures air quotes, \u201cbecause my program has lied embedded within your starship\u2019s mainframe since you installed Starship OS 9.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDammit, I knew we shouldn\u2019t have updated!\u201d Ensign Harry Kim inadvertently exclaims.<\/p>\n

The Captain takes two steps forward and interjects with stern clarity, \u201cGentlemen, this is ridiculous. Enough of the chit chat. We still have a long way to go before we reach home, and this is wasting precious little time.”<\/p>\n

Janeway takes a moment to survey her crew, then faces the parasitic hologram. \u201cWhat do you want me to do?”<\/p>\n

Steve smirks, \u201cI thought you\u2019d never ask!\u201d He reaches around his back and then walks towards the Captain with hands outstretched. He is holding a thin, glossy tablet displaying two lines of text and large, pill shaped button.<\/p>\n

Hello, Voyager!<\/p>\n

Accelerate your journey with the latest tools and features found only on Starship OS X:<\/p>\n

Click Here to Updgrade Your Startship<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u201cAssuming you agree to the terms and conditions, all you have to do it click this button. I will then automatically install Starship OS X.\u201d He taps the edge of the tablet for emphasis. “Easy, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

Janeway steps closer to Steve, reaching for the tablet, and taps the tiny link labeled Terms & Conditions, just below the big, purple pill. A new overlay appears: a single column of inscrutable, tightly spaced lines of gray text against a solid, white background. An indicator shows \u2018Page 1 of 97\u2019. She sighs.<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain?\u201d Tuvok asks.<\/p>\n

Without looking up at the Vulcan, Janeway responds, \u201cYes Commander?\u201d She begins to scroll through the pages, scanning for headlines or anything set in bold type.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf I understand correctly, Captain: By pressing that button, you will effectively be handing over all of Voyager\u2019s data transmissions to the Starship Interstellar Travel and Communications Network, a multigalactic corporation whose primary investors include our most ardent enemies, in exchange for a slightly better Operating System than we had before?\u201d<\/p>\n

Janeway closes the window and returns to the original screen. \u201cYes, Tuvok\u201d she responds with utter resignation.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if we don\u2019t upgrade, then we will be stranded \u2013 perhaps indefinitely \u2013 in the Delta Quadrant?\u201d the Vulcan asks with his eyebrows pinched together.<\/p>\n

\u201cOstensibly, Commander,\u201d she states impatiently, nodding to Steve, who is watching the exchange with great amusement.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat is illogical, Captain,\u201d Tuvok retorts.<\/p>\n

\u201cAgreed.\u201d Janeway takes a deep breath in, smooths the sides of her perfect bun, and pivots to face the well-dressed figure of diffracted light. \u201cBut we have no other choice.\u201d<\/p>\n

Steve extends his arms to present the brightly lit screen. \u201cDone with the chit-chat, Captain Janeway?\u201d he teases.<\/p>\n

She looks squarely into his holographic eyes, unsmiling, and presses the purple button.<\/p>\n

Promptly after tapping the screen, another shock-wave rips through Voyager, knocking the crew onto the deck of the bridge one more time. Tremors continue for a few more moments, reanimating objects that had previously fallen. On the main monitor, stars reappear as the black void collapses, pulling the spiraling fingers of luminous, purple vapors inward like an enormous drain. The aberration quickly shrinks, much faster than it had appeared, until the hole itself closes into a pinprick, culminating in a brief flash of violet light. As the crew stands to their feet and regain their composure, Steve is still standing in his original position.<\/p>\n

With an apologetic tone, he breaks the silence, \u201cSo sorry \u2013 I’ll have to talk to the User Experience Team about that.\u201d Then, flashing a toothy grin and raising his hand to wave, he bids farewell. \u201cThank you, Captain Janeway! It\u2019s been a pleasure!\u201d Steve\u2019s form bursts into a spinning vaporous tower, before collapsing onto a single point of light. He is gone. Abruptly, all the displays on-board flicker, producing new, beautiful interfaces. A message appears above on the primary screen:<\/p>\n

Welcome to Starship OS X<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Nobody says a word at first. Ensign Kim raises his fist and coughs, once.<\/p>\n

The image on screen dissolves into the familiar canvass of black, punctuated by endless stars in all directions.<\/p>\n

Janeway stands tall before her chair, relieved and confident once again. She looks intently into the deep of space and begins to command, \u201cLieutenant Paris\u2013”<\/p>\n

\u201cCaptain?\u201d Tuvok interrupts, again. He cannot let the conversation go.<\/p>\n

Without blinking, Janeway answers, \u201cYes, Commander?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI still do not understand why everyone in the known Universe would allow their activity to be broadcasted to opaque, corporate entities \u2014 which will now have control over our starships and communication systems \u2014 in the name of cheap, abundant access to the latest technology.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Captain closes her eyes, but otherwise remains completely still. \u201cRational or not, it\u2019s the reality we have apparently created.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tuvak raises a skeptical eyebrow. \u201cThen it is unfortunate that we failed to consider whether this is the reality we really wanted.\u201d<\/p>\n

Janeway opens her eyes, looks over to her Lieutenant, and concludes the discussion.<\/p>\n

\u201cTom, resume our previous course. Warp 9.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAye Captain,\u201d he responds happily.<\/p>\n

Kathryn turns to gaze at the image of space on screen. It no longer seems so infinite.<\/p>\n

\u201cEngage.\u201d<\/p>\n

[ROLL CREDITS]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Stardate 53849.2 \u2013 the Delta Quadrant Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager stands up from her chair, at the ready. Moments ago, the ship had lost warp power and … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":666,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[690,49031,49030,49026,49027,31],"coauthors":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3662"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/666"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3662"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3662\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3662"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.mozilla.org\/ux\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/coauthors?post=3662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}